Saturday, October 29, 2011

An open letter to all doctors

Dear doctors of the world,
I know that you are intelligent and highly trained in all kinds of things that I don't and will never understand.


Would it be too hard for you to actually check the "fasting" or "not fasting" box on my lab order form?

Because when you don't check one of those boxes, I assume that it doesn't matter. Then I make an appointment for 2:30 in the afternoon, far too late in the day for one to be fasting. I arrange a babysitter and drive up the worst road in this city to get to the lab, I check in at the counter, I fill out a half dozen pages of insurance-related questions and I wait for twenty minutes before being told that I can't have my arm stabbed today because I ate a burrito already.

So, then I drive home, pay the babysitter, grump about it for a while and then realize that I have to change my follow up appointment also.

Oh, yeah, remember that? You told me to go get blood work done, and then come see you a week later?

Well, because I didn't get my blood work done today, I can't go see you in one week. I have to cancel that appointment and reschedule, also cancelling and rescheduling the babysitter I have for that day.

All because you wouldn't make a tiny check mark.

I hope you're happy.

Your cranky, slowly-going-broke, but not hungry (cuz I didn't know I was supposed to be) patient.

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