Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My own version of insomnia

I struggle with sleep.

Sleep and I do not see eye to eye.

I need a lot of sleep to feel my best. Nine to ten hours, preferably. Of course, with three small children, that rarely never happens.

I do everything I'm supposed. No screens for an hour before sleepy time, no food for three hours before sleepy time. Bedroom is a haven for sleep: it's neat and organized with no TV. I get myself in bed and under the blankets by a reasonable hour (ten, most nights).

Yet sleep eludes me.

Oh, I sleep for a bit. But then, somewhere around two in the morning, my brain fires up and starts doing the nuttiest stuff.

Like singing just one line from Tangled's "At Last I See the Light" ad nauseum. No exaggeration, it sounds like a broken record in my head, and I kinda want to cut someone to make it stop.

Or making mental lists of all the things I will need to do SOMEDAY. Not even tomorrow or next week. Like... next year. And I get all panicky about it; heart races, stomach ties itself in knots. Major panic.

And then I realize I have to pee.

By that time, it's three-thirty, and my alarm is set to go off in ninety minutes. Considering it generally takes me a solid thirty minutes to fall asleep, it hardly seems worth it.

So, here I am, having eaten a bowl of cereal already, at four in the morning, writing.

Always writing.

4 comments:

  1. Melbourne on my MindSeptember 26, 2012 at 5:08 AM

    Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to not being able to sleep. As much as I hate the fact that I inherited my father's pale skin and propensity for hirsuteness, I pretty much love that I inherited his ability to fall asleep within about five minutes and sleep like the dead... But on those three or four nights a year when I can't get to sleep? You'd better believe I'm on the verge of Hulk smashing the planet. So I feel your pain.

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  2. I learned a new word from this comment. Plus you taught me about hook turns this morning. You are a veritable treasure trove of new information! :)

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  3. Melbourne on my MindSeptember 26, 2012 at 5:20 AM

    I do what I can to keep you entertained at stupid o'clock...;)

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  4. I hate hate hate it when I can't sleep. I feel you pain. It's totally maddening. I send you vibes of sleepiness. Poor Poor Gina!

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